Attention please everyone, because you know that you don’t know.
Ladies and skunks, the time is upon us. You’ve heard the rumors by now and it’s time for I’m Leaving You to announce some actual news in the News section. Please prepare to get sick with excitement and forget all your other influences, because North America’s number one online sketch comedy cesspool is announcing a brand new series that will launch late-summer and probably crash in early Autumn*. The short sketches you’ve been accustomed to seeing in moons past, we will continue to produce but at something of a less frequent rate.
This new series will be broken down into 5-8 minute episodes existing within a season of six, released every other month on the 1st of the month over the course of 11 months. Expect reoccurring characters, themes, etc. as is typical with the emerging genre of web series, seen in shows like I Hate Being Single and Squaresville.
Since ILY’s humble 2009 beginnings, we’ve put out somewhere in the vicinity of 50 short online sketches which, in 2011 we compiled into three 25 minute episodes, and birthed a bastardized “first season” DVD which worked on roughly one out of ten devices. As we prepared ourselves for the task of the 2nd sketch comedy season, we decided first to step back for a wider survey of the land. With the ultimate goal of larger distribution, we used gin-algorithms to determine we were in need of a slight change in course. Using Old Bay, Schlitz, and samurai swords we took the next 12 months to hone our ideas and make four very important phone calls. What we determined was that a short form comedy series was not only where our ugly dark hearts wanted to be, but where they needed to be in order to turn this thing into an unstoppable grab-assing empire of flaming yard waste… you know, like how we be seein’ it in our dreams. Hopefully this sufficiently explains why we haven’t been able to give you as much of what your heavy soul desires on a regular basis. This will change…please read on.
Now we can’t tell you much more here so you may just have to wait and slee for a lot of this malarkey to actually prove to be a lot more hot-doggin’ than nothin’-talkin’. One thing we can tell you, which we will certainly be emphasizing more than once, is the release of new episodes being on the 1st of the month. Oh, again that’s the 1st of the month, every other month starting late this summer. Go ahead and mark your filthy calendars now for that bimonthly respite from the bore of your own mind. That leaves the 1st’s of the other months open, which we will fill with content in one form or another, whether that’s ILY releasing an unrelated short, posting a “news” entry, or abandoning a backpack full of moldy pancakes on the steps where your co-workers smoke. You’ll get some damn thing on the first of every month, whether you like it or not.
As is the custom of the times, we will be celebrating the late-summer release of the pilot episode with some sort of horrible party. So if you live in the tri-county area or “have horse, will travel” you can come express yourselves physically and celebrate the frustration / excitement with us. This event will most likely be tied to an Indy GoGo campaign we will be launching soon to help us cover the filming expenses (court cost / attorney fees / hiring Mark Wahlberg) connected with the first season. Plus we may have a nice door prize** that you can use to haunt someone during work or sex. Beers will be handed out to those that are well behaved.
Burn your house, sell your cash, and set your bones to the swing of a bimonthly timer because this horse mother’s gonna set sail…and you do want to be on her back when the waters get high.
*Please note that by “crash in early Autumn” we actually mean, “be so good it will make all your pubic hair fall out”
**Door prize valued at $0.00, not redeemable for cash, not necessarily redeemable for anything, anywhere- ever