Ah, Winter: season of sunless gloom, dismal freezer of suet spheres. We gather under your gunmetal grimace, gazing skyward in frigid, awestruck impotency, and as the cold overtakes us, we bellow but one desperate inquiry into your implacable overcast: How can I winterize my modest mid-sized sedan in this economy? You answer us, dear Winter, …Read more
Occasionally the ILY office is inundated by scams meant for milquetoast capitalists wholly motivated by the half chance some under-researched purchase will benefit their life. Though this kind of thing may fuel the lives of underprivileged, tweet-addicted weasels, it is still difficult to resist. It’s not that we consider our enterprise more powerful than the …Read more
With this recent I’m Leaving You boon behind us, we engender a grievous future, full of sweat, drink, and wasting colossal amounts of time. These activities will be performed concurrently since the former two are always already occurring, and the latter always already results from the former, and so on until the onset of jaundice. …Read more
Thank you for joining us for the launch of carrborofood.com, where you will find everything you need to know about food in Carrboro, NC. Regrettably it has taken many years to flesh out our menu and determine which meats to present to you for this lunch. Listed on our site are premium meats that can …Read more
Dutifully we grease our hands and torsos for another epoch of I’m Leaving You devilry. But let us pause, like fugitives toeing the edge of an open cesspool, to shake our fists at our collective past, our mistakes and indiscretions, our old website. “Hey,” you may ask, “whence this disdain?” It begins, like most disdain, …Read more
You’re here because you’ve been tricked by a person who believes your soul is a wasteland. Alternately, you may have been swindled by a street wizard or led astray by a licentious automaton. Either way, it’s far too late, friend.
